On Personal Energy

Time is more valuable than money: if you have time you can always earn more money, but not vice versa, a saying goes. All it says is that having access to a generator is more valuable that having access to generated objects only. In the same category, there are sayings like, better to know how to catch fish, rather than having fish. Also we have: having a chicken is better than having eggs (Did I just made up some saying?). Anyway what I wanted to say that sometimes I find myself with an ample free time, but with no power to do anything. For this reason, energy seems to matter. Having energy allows one to pursue dreams and aspirations, while a lack of thereof makes it difficult even to get up from bed. Having experienced different levels of energy I have observed few things about what and how changes my energy.

Positive feelings boost energy. It has to do with a simple fact that emotional parts and physical parts of the body are connected. By pumping up the emotional part, one could add to one's energy. Any positive feeling seems to work, like: love, understanding, thankfulness and much more. 

Negative feeling deplete energy. Most of the time I found myself exhausted was not because I did some extra-challenging work, rather it was due to unnecessary worries and regrets. Negative feelings such as envy, fear, regrets crushed my energy resources many times. The strangest thing is that I kept falling at the same trap of negative emotions knowing their danger. At the same time, I thought myself as a quite intelligent entity. Turned out I was not so right. These days I try to avoid negative feelings whenever possible. In doing so I have observed that negativity of other people affects me much less than before. Previously I was thinking that negativity is highly contagious feeling, however it might not be the case.

Finally, levels of energy depend very much on usage. By nature, human beings are pretty weak. Any inconsistency in our body could send us onto a deathbed. Our emotional parts are not resilient as well. For this reason, energy is a scarce resource, and should be used wisely. 

On Commitments

Commitments shape our lives. Commitments can have rather different forms. A young couple can be committed to each other. A single mother can be committed to raising her children. A teacher might be committed in providing the best education for the students. A father can be committed to providing for his family and ensuring their well-being. Not all commitments are as positive as ones I have mentioned. Some people might be committed in doing crazy things. But for the purpose of this essay I wish to focus on positive commitments and how they change over time.

Commitments bring heavy weights with them. A committed person might realize the need to act on this commitment, however it might be extremely difficult at times. A part of this challenges come from society that we live in. Take for instance an example of aspiring teacher, a fresh gradute from local teaching program. She might might have high aspirations on educating future generation and contributing to society. However, as she tries to do what she loves the most, there would be numerous people who would discourage her by making nasty remarks about low-pay, lack of respect for teachers and lack of jobs. When she arrives home in evening, news agencies are always ready to tell her about numerous bombings, killings and other crazy things around the world. A single such day might not affect the level of commitment in our aspiring teacher much, but continuous bombardments with all this negativity will have its effect. As time goes on, our teacher might question very foundations of her commitments and convince herself of futility of her situation.

Let us understand what we have observed in our story. Why did our teacher lost her initial commitments? I believe that it has to do with social dynamics. Any person who observe nature for sometimes would realize that dynamics of a single object is vastly different form that of multitude objects. Group factor, or social factor in case of humans, add extra layer of complexity on that of individual behavior. In general a social movement can be a source of abundant good as well as evil. Take for instance peaceful movement of Gandhi and Nazi regime of Hitler. Both were massive and influential, however qualities of the influence were completely different. A movement of Gandhi was constructive and contributed to independence of India, while that of Hitler was destructive and contributed to devastation of the world. But one could ask what prevented people led by Hitler from recognizing their wrongdoing? A part of answer lies with social dynamics. When a large number of people are engaged in certain kind of behavior, it might become a norm in that society, even thought it might contradict to the basic tenets of human conscience.

To make the point clearer, let us consider few more examples. Take for instance, mass riots. Sometimes peaceful riots might turn violent, where cars get burned and glasses get shattered. The cause of such behavior might not be barbarity of the protestors. But the cause might have to do with group dynamics which involved at that particular place. On the other hand of fence, we might have policemen shooting rioters. Again these policement might not intend to seriously harm people, but when crowd is running person's ability of reasoning might undergo significant chages. This examples seems showcase a group dynamics in action.

Does all of this mean that we are just social robots, who are not capable of individual decision making? I hope not. What I wanted to convey is the fact that society exerts much influence on commitment of people. On the brighter side, one could use social component in positive ways by joining communities which facilitate action of one's commitments. Finally, I wish to remind that a commitment by definition is a personal thing. A society can influence person's desire to fulfill commitments, however it is up to every person whether he or she will pursue those commitments. 

On Days

Days carry me like a river. I have no control over their passage. Whether I wish it or not, sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening. Some days are full with happy moments and they make me feel rich, while others appear to make me poor. Some days I can't do any research, nor can I write. On other days, ideas come pouring and I can't write them all down. Each day is so different, yet days themselves come and go as one. This an example of balance between constancy and variance. I like both. It would be hard to live on the planet where days and nights come with complete irregularity. On the other hand, living each day in the same manner would be boring. I have seen many sunrises and much more sunsets. Yet most of the time they still manage to struck awe in my eyes.

I feel tempted to divide days into good and bad ones. But I know that each day is a good day, or rather the best day. No matter how hard things can get in a given day, hardships are bound to go away. On the other hand, no matter how happy I am given any days, that happiness is also bound to go away. Everything goes away in the flux of time. Steve Jobs once mentioned that there is a benefit in living each day as if it was last, because one day it is going to be so. So no matter what given days gives, one could be thankful, for each day is a gift. 

On differences of opinions

People tend to have differing opinions on lots of things starting from trivia and ending with the most critical issues. This difference can be used constructively as well as destructively. Different opinions give rise to all sorts of cool ideas, which help to improve our daily lives. A group discussion plays an important role in both religious and secular lives. In this kind of brainstorming sessions differences are encouraged, understanding and mutual respect prevails. People are not driven by their egos, rather they are driven by well-being, development and success. On the other hand, negative usages of differences are also quite widespread. In this kind of environment, new ideas are shun and people do not show any willingness to listen to others' viewpoints. Mostly these people are driven by personal or sectarian ego, which makes them sacrifice long-term success. People have been using differences of opinions in both ways since a dawn of civilization. I do not expect that all kinds of discussion turn constructive overnight, but I hope that more discussions would be constructive rather than destructive.

Let us now focus on current difference of opinions on Artificial Intelligence or AI. Since an exchange of comments on AI between Zuckerberg and Musk, all kinds of people shared their views on the topic and sided with one of mentioned technological entrepreneurs. Both of these figures, who contributed immensely to the technological advancements, should be deeply aware of what they are saying. Let us try to understand their standings. Zuckerberg seems to view AI as a kind of tool which helps to improve lives, say by discovering new drugs. On the other hand Musk sees a danger in ever-developing AI which might pose a threat to the very existence of humans. These views seem to be in a wild contrast. So, is AI a source of good or evil?

As with majority of things, AI is neither inherently good or evil just as nuclear fusion, ships and cars. However, it can be used for a good as well as evil. Zuckerberg envisions its good use, while Musk is concerned with its evil implications. In this sense, both of them seem to be correct, where Zuckerberg's comments concern short-time horizon, while that of Musk mostly deal with a long-term future. The real question is what does each individual going to do about this issue. How can we ensure that AI is used for good, and not for evil? Should we rely on our previous experience of dealing with technological innovations like steam power or electricity? Can coming AI innovation be different from all previous ones? How should we design new economic landscapes for such a change? And can we? These are all questions that need to be addressed. Hopefully, humanity will be able to benefit from forthcoming effect of AI. 

On Problems

When I was a child I used to play football. I sucked at it. I could not receive the ball properly, neither could I kick it well. Everyone around me seemed to be inclined to play well. When it came to matches, I found it easier to be a defender. I did not have to score goals. Being a goalkeeper intimidated me as well. So I spent my time around goals, away from stress. Even though I kind of liked this order, deep inside I knew that I was giving up on myself. I gave up on improving. I gave up on enjoying playing football. Fear of making mistakes replaced a love for a play. No wonder that I have never learned to play football decently.

It might seem that above story is about football, but it is not. It is about how one deals with problems. Above story is an example of sweeping problems under the carpet and pretending that everything is fine. Above examples is about giving in to the problems and betraying the love for the football.

In general people do not like problems. When people hear about problems, they tend to become agitated. Because problems perceived to be bad. But is it really so? Are problems evil?

Let us look at the brain and its neural structure. It is thought that a brain forms new patterns, when its predictions contradict the reality, in other words when it faces problems. When a baby learns to walk, he or she might fall thousands of times. In each of this fall, the brain is reconfiguring neural signals with muscular responses. A fall might seem as a problem, but in reality it helps the baby to walk, then run, faster and faster. Or take an example of social relationships. In general social arguments are considered to be dangerous. But this kind of arguments can help parties to understand each other better.

So problems are not always bad. They are actually quite beneficial for our character, growth and learning. When faced with problems, one could try to solve it alone or with the help of other people, rather than pretending that everything is great. I wish that I had played more football matches in different roles. Perhaps I could learn football that way...

On Power of Now

While people have bucket lists, I have a booklist, a list of books I wish to read. The 'Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle has been in my list for a long. Many people seem to be recommending it. So I decided to read it. Prior to reading it, the central theme of the book seemed to be well-known. You just have to live in now, what might be so difficult about it. But I was humbled by reading this book and observing author's answers to many questions on how to live in present moment. I could totally relate to the fact some people tend to live their lives being unconscious. I remember how often I found myself regretting about my past decisions or fretting about the future. At that times I was not present, I was inside a self-made time machine.

The book reminds its readers that the present is the only thing they have at any given moment. Concepts of past and future are mostly mind constructs. This is not to say that past and future does not exist, but they exist according to their own time, not right now. Since present is only thing that one has got, it makes sense to focus all attention to the present. To the things like smelling flowers on the road, understanding problems or understanding a person in front.\\
All of these might seem obvious, so what makes a person be willing to live in past or in future? It seems to me that there are two main reasons: possessions and aspirations. It is natural for people to identify themselves with possesions they have, be it a house, a car, some advanced degree or a respect from fellow people. These kinds of things give one a sense of value or worth. And it is comforting to feel that you worth something, the higher the better in many cases. As for aspirations, the future is full of them. It is common to hear people saying, I want this in five years and that in ten years, so that I can have this and that in twenty years time. These kinds of aspirations give a person a sense of hope. For some it is important to stick to past and future. But sometimes, life demonstrates that nothing is as permanent as we think. At that moments, people tend to value the given moment. But how can one love the present moment, if most of the time, it is full of mundane tasks, unproductive meetings and likes of them. By being present, a person can turn mundane stuff into exciting experiences and unproductive meetings into an opportunities to understand people and their challenges better.

Though it might seem pretty straightforward to live in now, it might be a rather difficult thing to do. As with many things in life, its idea is simple, but implementation takes a lifetime to master. Take for instance a practice of meditation. I am not into meditations much, but it seems that through meditations people try to cleanse their thoughts to focus in the present. One could also look at yoga. In yoga it seems to be important to control your breath. Why is it so? Because mind which is rambling around is not capable of controlling the breath. But as mind calms down, it starts to feel the breath. At least it seems so. And finally, one could look at Zen masters. These people come up with challenges which test their physical and spiritual endurance to extreme. It seems to me that their challenges have something to do with not giving in to pain and hardship. They seem to be willing to transcend their bodies to reach some higher state. Perhaps this higher state is living in present, who knows.

In the book the author shares a dichotomy between happiness and peace. Most of classical texts assume that people pursue happiness. This might be true. By living a quarter of century by this time, I have experienced both happiness and sadness several times.  I have found both of these states to be transitory. But there a state which is more permanent. This is a state of peace. Author seems to suggest that by living in now, more and more people will be able to enjoy a state of peace for a longer time.

Finally, there is a question of how should one learn to live in now. I would imagine this path to be a path of gradual construction of certain skills. In our society we are used to idea of building skills. We hear about people learning certain programming libraries. The more libraries you learn the more employable you become, as logic goes. But living in present seems to be a different kind of animal, according to the author. Observe that babies live in now without even realizing it. They neither worry regret their past, nor fear about their future. They just live. So, living in now is something everyone is born with. This means that one could go deeper within, rather than further up. But perhaps everyone has unique journey. Perhaps, I need to find mine. Peace.

On friendship of Adam and the leaf

Humans developed methods of synthesizing oxygen from ocean water in large scales in 2117. The process which provided oxygen for atomic submarine crew, could now be used to provide oxygen for all people. Since humanity no longer needed vast forests, people decided to cut down trees to free space for housing and industrial projects. Seventeen years old Adam took part in this operation as a controller of massive tree cutting machine. Adam's job was quite easy as he manipulated a gigantic laser gun using personal screen at operations control unit.

Being bored, Adam directed the camera installed on his laser gun to surrounding area. As the weather was rather windy, he watched movements of leaves, which seemed to him as a kind of play. Suddenly, some leaf caught his attention due to its irregular moves. It somehow defied the patterns he observed in the movements of other leaves. He stopped his machine and ordered all other machines to halt, as he went to look at the leaf closer. As he was approaching the tree with the peculiar leaf, he saw many trees lying down, with their leaves getting yellow. It was the first time Adam saw trees and leaves so closely, as neither his neighborhood nor his school had any greenery. Eventually, he came to that leaf, brushed the dust on its surface and touched it. Since he did not know what type of leaf it was, he took his multi-purpose scanner to scan the leaf. Upon scanning, some unknown symbols started to appear on the screen of the scanner. As he could not make sense of these symbols, he tried to downgrade the operating system of the scanner with the hope that previous opearting systems might recognize the symbols. At that point, the scattered symbols rearranged themselves in a sentence which said, Hello, Adam, I have been waiting for you. Adam felt perplexed as he never knew that leaves could send messages to scanning devices. He kept reading the message which contained following lines:

Hi, Adam. I am a leaf of the oak tree. Your generation has never seen us close enough, but your grandparents used to play in forests full of trees. People used to come forests to have picnics, where they were teaching their children about us. But soon things stated to change. We went on with our lives. We clean your air by transforming carbon dioxide into oxygen that you breathe. We never felt wary of our duties, even if humans made our tasks harder by polluting the air. Many forests were cut down and turned into mines or plantations. Dust particles from those mines tended to land on us, making our job unbearable. Yet we kept going, as we knew the value of doing the goodness.

Upon hearing this, Adam felt sorry for the tree and the leaf. In his school children were taught about superiority of the human race, so Adam were never interested in other forms of life. As an attempt to learn more about leaves, he looked around and saw millions of leaves surrounding him. A sheer number of leaves stunned him with each of them looking exactly the same. So he sent a question to the scanner asking the leaf whether all the leaves are identical. After several seconds, the following reply was on the screen of his scanner.

Look closely, Adam. No two of us are identical, as no two humans are identical. In this sense, each leaf is unique. But, you are right in saying that we look similar. Indeed the leaves of the same tree look alike. We cherish our similarities and differences. For instance, each of us provide different levels of nutrients, oxygen and energy. We do not compete with each other as to who provides more. It is a meaningless comparison. We know that each of us is doing its best.

After reading this reply, Adam realized how inconsistent was his previous knowledge about plants. He understood that plants share much more with humans than he thought before. Trying to clarify his hypothesis, he asked the leaf about its life by sending the message into his scanner. After several moments, a following message appeared on the screen.

Our lives are pretty short. We are born in spring, reach maturity in summer and pass away in autumn when strong winds and rainfalls bring us down. For some of us, the life can be much shorter. Knowing shortness of the life, we value each day. We live in the present. We have no idea what might happen next moment. Currently, we are seeing your machines and what they are doing to other trees, yet we are at peace. As I am talking to you, Adam, I am treasuring this moment, as it might be the first and the last conversation between man and leaf. In case, there will be no more trees left on this planet, pass the messages I have sent you to other humans. Let them know that we loved human beings and still do.

Reading the last part of the message, Adam could not hold his tears back. He started to sob while hugging the tree. They say that the worst feeling one could have is regret. And the worst of all regrets is harming the one who always have done good to you. Adam regretted his actions. He wished that he would never had cut down a single tree. As his sobs subsided, he hugged the tree at last and whispered that he would protect it.

On the way back to the operations control unit, Adam sent these messages to all people around the globe via satellite connection. The people around the world understood importance of trees and their value. The program on clearance of forests was immediately halted. The remianing trees were preserved under heritage laws and made into national parks. That was the story of the friendship between Adam and the leaf.